walking in back of a girl wearing booty shorts, a halter and a bracelet that says trainwreck. I don't get it. The first day of nice weather and all the whores come out, are they like hibernating bears or something?
becoming an adult blows. i don't think its possible for me to wake up for anything that doesn't involve kegs and eggs or half naked bums passed out in our yard.
I don't want end up bound and gagged in the back of a van headed for rehab. Bound and gagged OK. Just not the rehab part.
He just did a 33 second keg stand with a fractured leg, busted chin and chipped teeth from running into a parked car after winning a race.
we had a 10 minute conversation with his family about how I don't let him eat me out. I want to go home
I don't care. I'm going to fuck John's friend and it's all your fault.
Everytime I see a couple on campus walking and holding hands I just want to yell he's gonna lie!
at least you got your priorties in line. new years first, than the baby.
look up what dreaming that you're in a lesbian relationship with a manatee means.
Im down. Even tho your nick name intimidates my vagina.
Middle of vacation, he walked into an audition for a Broadway musical in a drunken stupor. I think he got the part.
Bathtub drinking tim. I have no pool so I work with what I have
Then that is decided. Fuck away my little bunny rabbit.
Talk about having your cake and eating it he has basically demolished the whole fucking bakery
Just let a guy I just met eat me out in a shed at a baby shower. May have sunk to a brand new low
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