You also had the stripper slap the shit out of me for not having any money....remember that?
theyre doing shots to celebrate her boob jobs anniversary.
i feel like my life is a cheap remake of American Pie
I had forgotten what it was like to go to all four classes. It's exhausting.
Well I tried to steal a golf cart. I fought with the Chick-Fil-A cow. And other things.
i hope someone procrastinates by putting up the pics up...
sarah said she can't even post all of hers due to facebook indecency rules
Either you made a spaghetti vodka smoothie last night, or you puked in the blender.
Sometimes he has weird facial hair...Basically he has a penis... that's what he's got going for him.
I met her at the quidditch match. She was the snitch and I caught her. After at the bar she walked up grabbed my hand and said snitches have flesh memories.
I mean your new thing is losing body parts and feeling colors so its not like we are hurting for entertainment
Well.. If you trust a test that only costs a dollar, I'm not pregnant
Guess who just hooked up with a guy who was wearing a shirt from his mom's "dress up closet"?!
He sent me a picture of his cock that seemed to indicate that we were still on good terms.
Well that didn’t go as expected.
I mean, it ended in you giving each of them a blowjob, so it kinda did.
His mom knocked on the door during morning sex because we were being too loud...now i have to meet her for the first time
Randomize
