Sorry I thought I was a lizard earlier.
I'm outside your house...sorry I feel like I don't need formal invites anymore.
yeah they are definitely having sex in that car. joe just yelled through the window telling them to do the "titanic hand print thing"
Nothing brings people closer than bonding over tequila shots and running from campus security.
She was into my hawaiian shirt and id never made out with a dinosaur... I feel like it worked out for everyone
Ugh I can't even look at alcohol this weekend, my body needs to heal.
I'M NOT READY TO BE AB ADULT YET!!!
Just saw a government minister puke and rally.
I feel like we need to find him and explain that if the two of them would just fuck he'd understand.
WAIT MOM THIS DOESNT NEED TO BE A FAMILY EVENT OK AARON DOESNT NEED TO BE AROUND FOR NIPPLEGATE 2014
My sobriety has gotten out of control. I think I need an intervention.
I had a rough night. I'm just gonna lay here and masturbate for a while before I have to go adult.
My life is pants optional.
All three of the bartenders here have screwed my boss, so he's definitely gay. Unfortunately for you he seems to have a type and you're not it.
You might see me up a tree with a deranged look in my eye , just walk away at that point
Randomize
