it was the worst sex ever in the history of sex. i mean ever. and he thought he was great. actually told me he was the best id ever had...what was i supposed to say? lol...i've had better times by myself. seriously.
I know it sounds like a good idea, but doing Spanish homework at a bar just because the owners are Mexican and they give us margaritas really wasn't the best decision.
I keep hearing lesbian porn and I'm the only one home. I don't think this is healthy
Those were the days I had no morals... Dark times.
Shall we take a trip back?
First thing on my "to do" list- get sober for community service.
I'm using toast as a chaser. If I wasn't already so fucked up this would be revolting.
Tell me I'm the only person you know who could punch someone at the bar, get escorted out, smoke a cig with the cop who almost arrested me AND get the security guy who escorted me out to buy me drinks.
Ill go to bed but tamed sharks isnt so much of a bad idea. Not for riding
I can't. Currently naked covered in Nair trying desperately to catch his cat that rubbed up on my leg.
I hate that cat.
One failed naked backward somersault off the bed and I realize - I either need to drink less or workout more. Perhaps both.
Thank you for the legal advice. I hope I can pay you in blow jobs.
When your hungover saltines taste like hope...
There was a deer right in front of me when I came. Sex in the forest is awesome
Did I tell you that I told him I deleted his dick pics and he almost started crying?
My roommate has a sixth sense about my jerking off and walks in EVERY. SINGLE. TIME.
Randomize
