Just put my hand under my pillow and found a peach ring. Lat night just came rushing back.
I want to apologize but I don't know how. Do I just say "sorry for OD'ing on your couch"? I think that just sounds weird.
You misunderstood me....i wasnt asking and it is not negotiable
You're making this sound more like a hostage situation than a booty call.
Bad behavior is like a petri dish that grows organically In my heart
I just saw an appointment in my phone called "it's been a month" I think I drunkly did that after I slept with Paul to remind myself to check if I got knocked up... I'm smarter drunk than sober.
I am stoned and listening to the Olympics music I downloaded on Saturday. Best 6 dollars I have ever spent.
I need to pay that drinking in public ticket, but I also really want to get a spray tan next week... so priorities.
the dj asked me quote "are you sure you're sober enough to do this?" And I grabbed the mic from him and said "ill fucking show you sober- HIT IT". I also dropped the mic at the end so he had to come around and pick it up
Shania Twain would have been proud
You reeked of guilt and shame and we offered you pancakes
I have never encountered a chode in the wild
Hey so I got my period
Thank god I wasn't ready to deal with sober you for 9 months
we had to follow your trail of clothes to find you.......
yeah, i thought because of the nature of his job he would have been better at it, but i guess there's a difference between a bagpipe and vagina
I was told i took a shot doing a headstand in the backseat then proceeded to barf all over my face
I had no idea you were so talented.
I don't know who's idea it was to get wine for a frat party but my poor pitiful hung over self really fucking hates them.
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