quick i need to know how implid consent works for golf carts
too late i think im gettin a gcui
Apparently he doesn't remember leaving the bar
If I spent $100 at the bar and didn't get laid I wouldn't want to remember anything either
I texted her sayin "I gotta brush my teethn then Im omw" maybe hint to do the same
I wish there was a non-hangover washing machine that I could stick myself in right now
any chance you can send me your legal ethics outline, in exchange for say, me buying you a lapdance the next time we go to the strip club?
I could swear I did coke with Jesus last night
I save people's lives for a living, but I want to ruin his marriage.
you proceeded to scream out that it's your birthday to everyone who walked by before you collapsed in the middle of the street. happy 21st birthday to you.
Also, ran into my neighbor across the street. He told me about scheduling his vasectomy. We are officially way beyond the acceptable point for asking his name again.
You can cross "give someone a blow job while playing Colors of the Wind" off my bucket list.
Just picked up an ounce of keif and if it goes to waste before the world ends I'm gonna haunt the shit out of somebody when we all die.
I just want to have beer shits in my own bathroom. Is that too much to ask for?
HAPPY AIDS-LESS FOURTH OF JULY YOU HEALTHY FUCK
shut up and let me use my vagina as a weapon of self destruction in peace!
Is it rude to send him a, "happy birthday, I hope you finally get an STD" text?
Randomize
