Did yall have sex?
Well we both woke up naked and there was a condom wrapper on the floor, but I don't remember so does that count?
Def not... that's how I managed to keep my number under 10 for all of college- If you don't remember, it didn't happen
Dating a girl 4 years younger than you is like living in a Taylor Swift song...
Okay I've seen like three girls walking around crying today. Weird?
everyone's regretting their thursdays.
I'll see your cousin, and raise you a sister.
Being drunk at the hospital is better than i expected. I got to hide and play in the little kids waiting area. Btw no one is hurt
It's like she can't drink without using a flambongo
Well girls crying gets you hard so you're not really a good standard to me
Be ready for a dog pile. On your head. With my ass.
i did nothiing wrong other than not tell that kid his whole back was covered in puke
Drunk yoga at 11 am turned into me sitting on the couch making fun of the girl in the instructional video. By the way, what the fuck is a third eye?
Your argument isn't valid... just because I test the waters doesn't make me gay. Makes me versatile. And who doesn't love that!
I feel like hooking up with you on my floor, sneaking out my window and jumping a fence is an effort that deserves a happy birthday.
I woke up to a bum peeing outside my window, and he said, "This is embarrassing for you."
I think every girl deserves a pregnancy scare. Because then it just feels like such a priviledge to be bleeding out of the vagina.
I legit just did a jig towards my box of tampons.
It should be perfectly legal to tase anyone not wearing a mask.
Randomize
