look no pants
I sent you an email today but due to work restrictions, I had to misspell choke sex
he started drinking at 9am with grey goose and pancakes. He IS my hero.
My professor complimented me on the well drawn penis on my face then asked if I would like a seat closer to the garbage can.
STOP CALLING ME LADY CHLAMYDIA
He had to stop fucking her halfway through to do a shit. When he returned she was still waiting for him. The joys of MDMA
No teenage boy ever gets scared away from sex unless she is slipping a wedding ring on your finger or is killing your cat. I promise.
Goddamn you thin people LEAVE FOOD FOR THE BIGGER DRUNKARDS WHO NEED IT
Bro, I just googled 36 year old pussy so when I do see it I won't be shocked.
Can we make 2014 the year of no unsolicited dick pics?
I finally figured out how to tighten my bra straps and I feel like a god
Cocaine and dance dance revolution for 4 hours. I consider last night a success.
For the record you're a very classy lady and your love for and mastery of strap-ons is amazing. I would gladly marry you and father your offspring
I am going to bedazzle the shit out of your Basilisk costume.
If i'm not ready, make sure i'm alive. Not passed out dead in the shower.
I'll still do breakfast to celebrate the life you've had.
Randomize