If you think im a hippy you should see these girls. They would scissor mother nature if they had the chance.
A homeless man in dtwn SF was blasting lil wayne and singing at the top of his lungs. I kinda wanted to give him my life savings
I just remembered we were doing butt clenching exercising with bar straws last night
Fucking freshmen need to learn how to puke in the bushes outside the dorm and not in the fucking elevator.
It's sad the highlight of the night was you didn't electrocute yourself again.
You're mold. I may or maynot have puked blood this morning.
I feel like the way dolphins mate would be the approach that a guy would have to use in order for you to sleep with them
If you hear a sad honk in the wind it is me.
I woke up with my name tag for work still on my shirt. It was a rough night.
In other news, I just burned my penis
If you sleep with another manager before the year is up you'll deserve an accomplishment sticker.
I woke up with my shoes still on and my pants around my ankles cause I couldn't get them over my shoes
SCOTCH AND CIGARS AT THE TITTY BAR. YOU ARE COMING WITH US.
I'm sorry I keep having sex wth your friends. I'm done, for real. Unless cole is interested. Other than that, I'm done.
Like how do you live your life and have never made a grilled cheese? The audacity of some people
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