he was pretty good aside from the whole putting his tongue on my butt thing
She used my dick as a microphone to sing "any way you want it" I'm in love.
So there is a guy driving a robot around the college of engineering selling energy drinks
Reason #57 I am going to fail the bar... it's Tuesday and i'm drunk at Toy Story 3.
I was relieved after I found the unopened condom in my pocket. Then I found the open one in the other pocket..
she was eating donuts out of the garbage. enough said.
I've decided to be proactive and make a sex playlist on my phone to avoid any awkward moments in my upcoming slutty summer
No kidding. I just keep looking at that 'under 21 until 11/21/2011' on my id and whispering "soon enough"
Drunk me cleaned my room for me. Needless to say our relationship has improved greatly
I couldn't tell you were laughing too hard
Dude I thought I set my hair on fire. I wasn't laughing I was screaming.
Ugh did we play golf last night and did you by chance hit my head with a club or a ball?
You were so drunk last night you left the bar to go buy a razor so you could go home with him
How did you not realize the handbrakes were stuck?
I thought I was just out of shape.
I accidentally flashed three cops last night. Stone cold sober.
I don't want random pictures of your morning wood. It's like, what a glorious morning oh a penis.
Randomize
