i hope chris hansen doesn't have a boat
I hope that the reason I've been psycho on him is that I'm pregnant and not just psycho.
you just used a box of cheese-its to get into the bar
She's cheated on every boyfriend she's ever had with the same guy. She's like a slutty yo-yo.
You can do it. What doesn't kill us just drives us to drink
You can't just leave with hair like that
If there is a ladylike way to throw up in your favorite toilet, I just did it.
its like my brain is a tree and you are those little cookie elves
I need a moral compass that doesn't always point to dick
I can't believe I haven't fucked an Elvis impersonator yet.
The sex definitely would have been a perk. But not sitting in a ditch was what I was going for...
Be careful, there is sex in the air.
Also: I hate her so much. She's out at hooters, making spelling errors, while I'm literally sitting at a clinic getting std tested. Which of us won the morality award in this break up.
That guy u hooked me up with kept calling me james while were doing it...
I do not recommend playing football on LSD like at all
Randomize
