it was terrible. i could've done a better job by myself.
They left shortly after you claimed the dirty rug as your mattress and began alternating between singing "Dayman" and "Nightman"
our landlord thinks we're weird & alcoholics. he came in to fix our broken tub and saw the laundry door on our table for beer pong, the garbage bag full of empty fifths, and that one armed baby on the doorstep. plus he saw us swimming and yargging in our pirate pool that one time.
so, the parking garage attendent caught us humping in the car. long story short, we have free parking whenever we want! take that abstinence.
No worries you cant actually turn into a wine snob if you brew it in your closet....
I made out with Jen. We were naked. I'm still gay. Forever
Use motel 8. I'll give you my credit card #. i'll pay for it cuz i care about your vagina.
She didn't talk for 45 minutes. We finally convinced her to open her mouth. There was a flower in there.
Speaking of roommates, Kelsey and I woke up to urine in our trash can. Neither one of us is willing to admit to it so we've come to the conclusion that someone snuck into our room in the middle of the night
It's gonna be one of those someone is getting divorced parties
If the world ends now I want you to know I was on my favorite toilet fighting the good fight.
How about we just fuck in random places all around campus, and skip the boring relationship part?
I just want cinnabon and vodka.
You start to question your morals when you wake up at 430 and there's three people naked...that you don't no
Dude, the worst part is I can't even pretend it didn't happen because she posted a video of it on Facebook.
Randomize
