A disheveled girl in front of me just looked down, shrieked, and yelled to the girl next to her "what is this" while pointing at two large white stains near the crotch of her black jeans. I love that Thursdays are weekends, it makes awesome Friday mornings
Yeah he had his two razors labeled "face" and "pubes". Should I be disgusted or impressed?
Did I ever tell u about how my buddy fucked peter coors's daughter and made a tshirt that said I TAPPED THE ROCKIES with her picture on it?
my heaven will be filled with hot naked men covered in chick-fil-a sauce and me wearing a bib
I got up before the sun today. That makes me sun for the day.
When did you start smoking in order to be high by 4:30?
nothing says "functioning mature adult" like sneaking beer out of your mom's fridge in a lunchbox
Ugh I can't even look at alcohol this weekend, my body needs to heal.
I'm almost positive that you shat in a birdhouse
Ive never seen one person more proud of themselves of peeing in public and getting away with it.
Also, if asking a guy to come over and watch curling with you doesn't scream let's fuck then idk what does
MY LIFE IS HARD OK. I HAVE TO WAKE UP AT LIKE 10 OR 11 AFTER SMOKIG POT AND PLAYING FALLOUT UNTIL 3
I opened the door, threw up on the street, wiped my mouth and flashed a thumbs up to all of the cars behind us and kept on driving
She drunkenly texted me about Japanese mythology at four AM. I think I’m in love.
I miss you.
Yeah, I don't want to have sex.
Justin has passed out on the toilet in a locked stall. Stay tuned for pics.
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