Asian hipster sighting. About to tackle him and ask him to take me to chinatown
you'll never believe how fucking awesome rain man is when you're stoned.
YouTube is recomending me a video on how to make a home made meth bong, what has my life come to?
Also I may have a condom stuck inside me, but I won`t know til I check the couch coushions.
I feel like I was just dunked in a tub of beer and then thrown in a giant dryer with rocks in it.
I just saw a dude sitting IN a bush, weeping and playing a harmonica. I hope your day is going better than his.
well you're talking about the girl who after 4 years, several relationships and several fuck buddies, has yet to have sex in an actual bed
Oh Brad. Your poor brain, always being ignored for your penis and crazy women.
I'm tellin ya, let the nipple get some air, they'll hire u on the spot, lawyers love a little nip
the only thing she has in her apt so far is toilet paper and shot glasses. you can see where the priorities lie.
He stopped mid thrust ... To check snap chat .. From his roomie
You threw away your W2 to make more room in your purse for liquor.
I'm one bad relationship away from owning seven cats.
Funniest thing happened to Chloe! She talked the bf into a mmf threesome, and he loudly and enthusiastically discovered he was gay during it. Whole dorm literally heard it happen.Well funny for me. Chloe not so much.
I’m good. I learned that a guy ate the mushrooms that were growing out of his toilet, so there’s that.
Randomize
