I dont like him- his parents were home and he hid me in his closet like anne frank
Will you be topless? That will affect my answer.
i just went 2 months without giving head... thats like two months without coffee. or two months without sun.
i'm taking a spore imprint of the mushroom we found growing in our bathroom and sending a picture to ryan. he will then be able to tell if it's trip-worthy
This family outing has commenced with me throwing up in an apple orchard
So if I get kidnapped from my office and go missing for a few days does that count against my vacation days and do I still get paid?
Sometimes I have to make sure these messages are going to you and I'm not about to give someone in my phone book a heart attack.
i would compare it to sliding down a velcro-covered fireman's pole naked. no more bearded men for me.
No amount of beer will make me feel better about this. It's time for Emergency Whisky
Are you okay?
I went home with a 38 year old guy in a kilt, do I look okay!
Why is there a slipper full of piss in my bedroom?
I passed out in my bed, but woke up on the dog bed,with no pants, snuggling with toilet paper and a bottle of softsoap. Ive hit a new low.
I find nice boys who are in extremely long term relationships with nice girls, wait for them to break up, and sneak in for the rebound fucking.
You are like a terrifying jaguar of sex. Predatory.
Ya can’t just go throwing accusations around about someone pooping their pants without some hard evidence
I begin to question your sobriety when you both left here shirtless, with beers in one hand and shotguns in the other
Randomize
