My whole home page is your drunken face booking, congrats.
billy ray cyrus is narrating a show on the history channel. my iq cant decide whether to go up or down.
Is it wrong that im more embaressed about the karoke than the toplessness?
Blood drive hookups: you will probably faint during the sex, but at least you know neither of you has AIDS
You didn't want to have sex last night because you said your grandpa just died and you didn't want him watching..
I ended up at these random girls' house they are smoking weed out of a gun
I'm currently eating a turkey dinner, listening to xplosive by dr. Dre, and drinking rum. Hispanic christmas dinners are the best.
Dude get here. I just re-invented nachos. For real though. They werent real before right now
Wine is the only reason I'm making it in the real world
He literally just patted me on the vagina and said goodnight to it.
the most terrified I've ever been was seeing Danny Devito squirming on the ground in this underwear, covered in hand sanitizer, completely hairless
where the fuck are you? she just tazed two people and we're tripping shrooms...successful first night in new apartment!
so i'm with my friends driving on the highway and just saw a guy in the car next to us sucking on a dildo. can't make this shit up.
He just took off his shirt. I'll text you later.
I mean, I'm not hammered, but I definitely can't show my face or tits in that bowling alley again
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