i want to be waterboarded, just to see what all the fuss is about
Dude, just discovered frito and mozzarella nachos. Don't say I never contributed anything to this world.
it feels good to walk into a CVS and not go straight to the pharmacy counter for plan b. its been a while....
he just told me i make him happier than drugs. that's some serious shit right there
fuck. I just remembered I agreed to let you finger me last night for solely for "scientific purposes"
hes the hot one from work who thought i was dead after my party
Either I put my underwear on inside out and wore it like that all day, or I had sex with him. Its sad I have to guess.
Is it bad of me to apply as a night shift counselor at a boys orphanage purely because of how laid that would get me at bars?
All I can remember is posting my chicken burger in the post box. Postman is in for a treat.
We dropped so many bottles they would only give us plastic cups. We actually drank ourselves back to preschool.
So I walked in on her and she had taped her fingers together and was crying and was whispering something about "how humbling it is being in constant glove mode"
Why the fuck is he under my phone as Papi Chulo?
I will sleep with anyone I have to to make sure you don't get deported
I promise not to pretend to be Jesus and take the wheel. But to my credit you shouldn't be saying that while I'm that drunk and we are in a car.
why do guys have to express their feelings when they know your seeing someone else ? I fucked him anyways to make him feel better , and to know what he's missing.
Randomize
