Dude I just witnessed a midget touching himself and singing the chorus to somebodys watching me by michael jackson... it kinda turned me on
Just watched the couple I sit for and 4 of their friends shotgun beers like college kids. Please let this be us when we get older.
I remember coming home with a cat... I havent seen it all day. Shit.
You tried to luge a beer down a flip flop.
The only good thing about this is that the pharmacy guy will stop trying to add me on Facebook.
i am willing to donate my body to this science experiment when it means free blowjobs
He'd rather cuddle with his shitty little miniature dog than the half naked girl in his bed. I've lost all hope for him and my vagina
I wanted to get all my legit stuff out, but then I decided I didn't trust drunk me with my own things
Good decision.
I might go to an NA meeting just to fuck that boy in the bathroom.
I just want to eat my penis shaped food in front of you and see how you feel about it.
Decided to stop by the store on my walk of shame. I must really look like shit, a six year old girl just walked up to me and said "my mommy wanted me to tell you Jesus loves you." Thanks kid.
You should come over tomorrow. Wine, pizza and my vagina. Those are all great things.
I'm telling you, this vagina is really making the rounds lately...
You know how it is. Tell me not to do somebody and suddenly I wanna.
he was really really nice, and I did coke off of his dong that night too
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