And God said, "Let there be Twilight," and it was so.
I should injure you considerably.
Sad Moment: I only had enough $ at 711 to buy chips or salsa. I chose salsa and took a plastic spoon
When you want to head down the cleveland on Sunday?
What time do the bars open? I dont want to remember how bad theyre gonna lose
he saw my emergency pass-out-in-the-bathroom-after-drunken-puking cot in the bathroom.
15 year-old stoners have those problems. we're college students dude. dont be like that...
His flight is delayed. Mother Nature is delaying me from sex.
last thing I remember was someone walking in on me sitting in the bathtub listening and singing along to Britney spears "Till the world ends" on repeat.
Man, I'm real high and googling what all my favorite figure skaters from childhood are doing now.
She called to tell me she just hooked up with my crush...and that he talked about me...not sure if I should be pissed or excited?
Actually we have similar relationship styles aka no relationship... it could work
She abandoned me on the doorstep of her hostel. Turns out you can't bring one night stands into those places. Slept in a train station next to a tramp. He gave me chips. And didn't steal my shit while I slept. So I'm counting this one as a win
Yeah but who says we can't be shitfaced and tan at the same time?
Do you think it's illegal to drive without your pants on?
It's only considered alcoholism if you're drinking from something other than a cup....right?
just because he was passed out beside the toilet, didn't give you tge right to pee on him
my aim is off when im drunk
Randomize
