I painted my nails silver
And what are the implications of that?
Is there supposed to be a msg in that? Just thought ud like to know it looks like I fingerbanged an alien
I have a dream, to one day wake up next to a girl, walk to the washroom and kick her kids toys out of the way. That day has come, yes we can.
and my herpes radar will keep us safe
But on the up side she uprooted a whole peony plant from the hotel downtown and said, "I brought you flowers"
Medically YOU CAN'T BE AN ALCOHOLIC TILL 25!!!!! WE GET 3 BONUS YEARS!!!!
you're good to come back. The bouncer pulled me aside and told me. He also said you have nothing to worry about and that you have an awesome "upper punch" or some shit
Alive.
So much puke
Just had a flashback to Friday. Definitely had my hands in someone's bra. Definitely wasn't mine.
Find me a cup with a lid so I can illegally drink in your car. I'll be there in bout 10 minutes.
I hate you so much right now. You got us kicked out of my favorite bar because your drunk ass was hogging the Bluetooth jukebox and would play NOTHING but that goddamn skeleton song. IT'S NOT EVEN OCTOBER YET.
Spopky scrzy skeletonssz
I say "glasses of whiskey" like I didn't chug it out of the bottle
I just got a rock from a customer. Weirdest. Tip. Ever.
There are twenty eight units in that building. There has to be at least one heterosexual in it. You can't have fucked your way through all of it.
Are you rolling a joint while doing homework?
No, I am rolling a joint with my homework.
Trust me, I’ve got a sixth sense about dicks that tells me if a guy knows how to fuck and it’s tingling. You need to prove me right!
I’m not going to bang him just to confirm your Dickth Sense
The Dickth Sense!!! I love it! It’ll be our first porno!
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