Who haven't you slept with?
No one comes to mind.
you were grabbing cocks left and right
you literally grabbed sam's dick and said, "who's cock is this?!"
I'm outside your house...sorry I feel like I don't need formal invites anymore.
Then my mouth guard fell out of the hole, so that's how the dog poop got in my mouth.
and then he started using my ass as a stressball
You're a college freshman. Its your job to be pathetic. And drunk. But mostly pathetic
I almost stepped in a homeless mans stream of urine as he was peeing. I love this city.
I think that means you're growing up...when your coke nail becomes your opening mail nail.
He let me keep my Michael Jordan Bulls jersey on during sex.
You want to groom your chest hair? You mean with a little baby chest hair brush? Because that sounds adorable.
I don't want random pictures of your morning wood. It's like, what a glorious morning oh a penis.
Look, all I'm looking for is a good time and someone whose chest I can bury my face in
I just ordered a five person drink for myself.... Right about now you should start saving me from myself....
Oh god I just had an orgasim riding my bike. I need to get laid pronto.
At least get laid and waffle fries out of it you whipped basterd
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