there are so many fish in the see you have left to fuck
I bought a zebra print bikini, I'm gonna be honest here- if he doesn't want to have sex with me in this, he's gay.
They both told everyone they fell in a mud puddle
Oh they definetly fell in the mud, repeatedly, on top of each other
I just did the nutritional comparison between 2% milk and Bud Light Lime.. the beer had less calories, less carbs, and less fat. It's not looking good for milk in my life anymore
yes you're required to wear a bikini its the snowpocalypse beach party
In an m&m suit playing manhunt drunk. And you thought you werent guna have a good time
Seriously he's so hot. And it's so hard to flirt with a deaf guy
the only way I will be happy is if my gallon spiderman bucket is full of either popcorn, nutella and peanut butter, or fried rice. CHOOSE WISELY.
I just had a contest with the toilet to see who could hold their breath longest.
I won
please tell me you're in jail and for some reason they have wifi
He said to use 30 racks as chairs and then drink til we fall thru the box
I think I'm still drunk...I just gave my empty conditioner bottle a break-up speech before I threw it away.
Two things. 1) party at my house this Friday 2) what was the name of the Australian you fucked on the cruise ship?
Sorry for trying to wake you up by slapping your ass with a fruit 2 go.
He passed out with his shoes on 20 minutes till midnight, and I didn't have a sharpie so I took the cheese whiz and filled his exposed ass crack.
Randomize
