I just saw a guy wearing a tuxedo shirt under his overalls. That is true iowa class right there
Since when does sleeping with your RA not result in free meal swipes? I feel so tricked...
we flagged you as soon as you tried to put the lime in the microwave to prove it was really a kiwi. again.
I applaud your efforts, but I have to say it was the bear we encountered that ultimately shut down the entire operation
Currently siting in the living room naked, staring at one of the girls across the street in her living room naked. This is like the most intense starting contest of all time.
Sorry, all I could picture was you jamming your dick into a lemon.
So not the biggest tits he had his cock between. He could have lied.
Literally just had a girl put her street name into my phone. Yeah.
I tried getting kicked out of my favorite bar. No matter what I did, I could do no wrong
They forgot my ranch. They're dead to me.
Please tell me you did not shit your Disney princess costume.
sitting in a shitty karaoke bar playing pokemon go and drinking a mimosa. how is your sunday night
I’m home.
I’m aware. I just dropped you off.
Last time I went to flagstaff I threw up in my beard. I would very much like to recreate that moment.
DO IT!
Sorry. I was preoccupied thinking about penises
Randomize
