Whatever is fine with me, as long as I am dressed in green and end up shitfaced.
Well he paid for dinner, so I paid for the Plan B, but the parking ticket I got is totally his responsibility.
He's trying to kill me, one liver cell at a time. It's going to be a slow, but awesome death
He has a tattoo of a carebear. This is not happening.
It just gets louder and louder too...dear god. Her poor vagina.
Damn, it's been so long since I had sex I could use the cobwebs from my vagina to decorate for Halloween.
I have discovered that there is nothing that a giant penis attached to a southern accent can't talk me into. yee-haw!
somedays, I wish the drugs you give me would convince me they were a bad idea preingestion.
where's the fun in that?
Within 24 hours, I went to a feminist documentary screening with two state reps and you hate fucked a rent-a-cop on the helipad of your hospital. Somewhere our lives went in different directions.
I still make more money.
by the way whatever wisdom you imparted upon me last night was lost to whatever i smoked out of a beer can.
And I don't know if this is really ESP, or just a crazy feeling, but I'm pretty sure he has an std. Or at least a cold.
New low: eating a buttered roll while taking a shit.
This is why we're soulmates.
If youre worried about being stabbed, you probably shouldnt be there.
when I walked in the door they were passed out naked, on top of eachother, with tetris controllers in their hands.
I don't want to date him...I just want him to cheat on his girlfriend with me.
Randomize
