I thought all girls wanted is to get a boner
you want to re-phrase that?
period poops. best. ever.
omigod im sitting here with ben and he and i both got that...chick you totally just mass texted that...
his Mom's staying with him so he asked if I'd go over and fuck in his shed. he said "it's a really nice shed"
you drew a penis with ranch dressing. tried to take a picture of it and dropped your phone in it. Then made moaning sounds while you licked it off.
they were having a wine tasting so i tasted every wine...then knocked over an entire display of gourmet olives and was asked to leave... but they still let me buy my 6 bottles of wine before escorting me out
Forgot to mention...Pamela Anderson has HPV, so i feel like im in good company
I showed that dick picture that your date texted you to everyone because you passed out and left your phone unattended. Your fault. Plus his cock was big so his fault too.
Seriously, do normal people actually get work done being this hungover? No wonder the economy's in the shitter
Ok in all seriousness. Alcohol intake is now restricted for me. I found handcuffs in my trunk.
He also gave me two gold stars for sex. On my nipples.
She wants me to spank her and yell "Kerry! Your father is disappointed with your choices!" Fuck up but crazy hot? Or just fuck up crazy?
His girlfriends signaled their approval by pulling me off of him and in turn making out with me. I think I will hang out with this group more often
When our dicks touched he made a lightsaber noise.
Some girl dressed in nothing but Wonder Woman underwear and a cape on her ass just started twerking all over us. Remind me why I'd never been to a midnight of Rocky horror before?
There's a set of buzz lightyear wings in lost and found at work. I just need access to your roof.
Randomize
