okay serious question, the water is shut off in your house, do you attempt and use the clean toilet water for your new bong?
Only in college do people pre-game a meteor shower
the only good thing about these hospital visits are the free pregnancy tests
The guy that just projectile vomited over the balcony is now going down to find the pill he just puked up. He said he wasn't about to waste $15.
I shouldn't trust a guy I just met with the pull out method. That's a big responsibility.
Just watched a drunk girl hand her valet ticket to a cop and walk away.
He talked to you for like two seconds while you were shit faced doing Forest Gump impressions...how is that possible?
I wish I got like a congrats basket for being a responsible sexually active member of society complete with condoms, tissues and lollipops.
So I just noticed that my last drunk google search before going to bed last night was "ghosts based on gays." I have no idea what that's supposed to mean
Thanks for bringing me tea/a bucket. You have earned yourself a face touch.
She kissed me, then said "mmm your face tastes like it needs my pussy on it."
I ended up in th ER yelling my height weight and age
Okay so I just had a really great idea
no.
He's here walking around DRUNK AS FUCK in a Kobe Bryant number 8 jersey... Tucked in.
If he’s halfway attractive, employed and cool with me having boytoys, I’ll marry him
Randomize
