So my graduate coordinator is possible gay man. I may have just found the easiest way to a degree ever.
Good plan b, put your number on all your forms. Hello gamefull employment.
Take that integrity
Apparently having him hold an open book in front of me while i'm blowing him doesn't count as studying...
He's tryingto open a beer with a Police baton. Cut him off or see where this leads?
Just bought a waterproof mattress cover. Bring it on sophomore year.
Just cleaned someone else's sperm off of my bedroom wall. Never throwing a house party again.
So, my ex just showed me the drunk voicemail we left him last night. Started out with me saying "I think it's Shane." Then you took my phone and started singing a song about peanut butter, train tracks, and tequila. I joined in. On the upside, he said he's totally fine with being on the drunk dial list from now on. Soooo, another tequila night??
Last week in my political science paper I quoted the Mighty Ducks. This week, I compared the Constitution to a weird pickle law in Connecticut (by law, it's not a pickle unless it bounces). So, yeah, clearly I'm ready to be back to being a college student.
Got home. All the lights were on. All the doors were unlocked. My room was covered in beads, there's puke in the sink and of course our toilet is still broke. I'd say it was a decent Mardi Gras
I still don't know his name but his ass is spectacular. Like he should never wear pants.
the amount of 23-year-old guys who have seen me naked is starting to get a little worrying
I found your missing hash cookies. Fuck you and I'm sorry but there are only 2 left. I already had the munchies.
I just want to order a very large pizza and get very drunk and very laid.
He sent me a pic and then I suffered dick amnesia about the rest of that
I left the party 20 min ago..just thought i would tell you so you wouldnt think i fell in the lake again
I forgot to bring soap and all I could find here was body wash. It's like bathing with laundry detergent.
Randomize
