And hes hitting me with his balls, really hard.
You're breaking my vagina 4 times a day I reserve the right to know your middle name.
Nothing like hearing a USA chant while getting head. God bless America.
So hungover. Sitting in class about to puke during this ladys flute performance. Not sure why were having a flute concert in biology
btw im making up a story about these stitches..... i think a hockey stick to the face sounds better then i fell up the stairs
pretty sure tht was the guy who once went to the club dressed as waldo. he still looks weirdly fuckable.
WTF? Why is there a pic of my tits in ur dad's office?
It's funny because every time I go up and down the stairs it's an adventure. A A DRUNK ADVENTURE. PS I ALREADY THREW UP WTF
my roommate would be appalled if she knew how many times i've peed in the kitchen sink
Just had to double check that I had pants on. THAT kind of weekend.
If I knew the person sucking my dick didn't say thank you for their Christmas presents I wouldn't be able to cum.
Drunk on wine at my parents house watching "RugRats In Paris". Comeatmeadulthood.
My first hangover at work. I'm officially an adult.
The sex was so good we high-fived after.
Flirting with/getting ready to possibly sleep with a married HS classmate and getting added to a bible study group chat within minutes of each other. #Balance
Randomize