Riddle me this. What had unbelievable sex, and finally understands the meaning that things come better in pairs?
I hate you
the entire lecture hall sighed when the prof announced that there will be an exam on 4/20
there's a guy looking for his pants in my room, is he yours?
I should go buy the economy size box of condoms and sprinkle a path like rose petals to my bed... Think he'd get the hint?
its not a party unless mikie exposes himself
Your brother came in a girls mouth for the first time last night... Ah the tales told whilst buying minors beer.
Whoever owns the butter that i always steal out of the office fridge definitely put THC butter in there this time. Shit just got real.
I think my Halloween costume this year will be made entirely of pillows and I'll be Marshmellow girl or Kirby. That way I'm comfortable, warm, and if I fall over drunk I'm safe.
I just spent the better half of my Friday night alone, naked eating McDonalds. Not my worst start of a new year
I'm sending you a dick pic. Ill tell the other ppl in this pancheros its cool
Don't send a pic of dick unless it's inside the burrito
Dude I'm hungover as fuck in a bed in Baltimore with another man... I don't think I can make it.
Ugh, I should just give up, and fuck him in a parking lot, and shave my head and walk naked through the streets of King's Landing.
Why do I feel so obligated to masterbate just because I’m single and it’s valentines Day...
Despite how often it occurs, I have absolutely no interest in having sex with myself
Can't talk, I'm icing "sorry I barfed on your couch" onto a cookie cake
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