This girl looks like a mixture of kathy griffin and bill walton. i havent decided if that is a good thing.
he called me a worthless slut and then went 2 the bathroom 2 pee on the floor before leavin. but he was really hot and he left his jacket, should i call him?
you threw up in the oven last night. i found that out after i preheated it to cook a pizza.
I like how my family gatherings are basically an ugly sweater party just with better beer and wine...
Did you wake up with "jello shots" stamped on your hand too?
He started making shapes and faces with his cock and balls.... apparently if you wrap the shaft with your balls and turn it 90 degrees to the left it looks like a hamburger
I was under the impression that I sent actual words. turns out it was a series of letters and question marks on a side note we still had sex
she made me take her to the grocery store to buy a gallon of sweet tea and a shit ton of band aids, the cashier asked if someone was hurt and she replied "not yet.."
I am at the point where deciding not to drink alone is worth a rocky music montage in and of itself.
The car just stinks of weed and we are all sitting here trying to hide it from my mom by rolling down the windows, like it's not coming off my sisters boyfriend
I sent him a pic of my tits and he said "Word." I need a drink.
I wish I could just hang out in ERs.
it's like the easy bake oven version of plastic surgery
I just bought a handle of tequila and a breakfast burrito. I might be out of money for the weekend, but at least I have the necessities covered.
I can't say too many people would say watching their drunk best friends fuck in a hot tub is very normal.
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