I heard we made out
oh posh. I need a real boy. To fill my void. This guy has potential. He is a Republican.
***** and i were talking about Republicans today. They are usually the champs of mediocrity but we decided mediocrity is underrated.
Just got done shaving my balls. You were right.
I was so drunk i thought Kathy Griffin was funny
Dude, you need to come clean your dates vomit off the ceiling. What in the hell were you guys doing?!
Well I found you sipping ron diaz out of a child's dinosaur cup while sticking your fingers in the guy's fish tank and watching the "pirahnas" snap at your finger and laughing
God and karma are having a fucking field day with my body today.
We hotboxed his closet and accidentally lit some of his shirts on fire... do we have a fire extinguisher?
for me, it's working out the tricky timing of the Viagra and nightly laxative.
Yeah play it cool maybe put in a kissy face though let him know you're giving an invitation for his dick
I've never seen an uncircumcised penis. I mean in person. I've clearly seen an uncircumcised penis. I have the google.
you were bawling because you felt bad for being so drunk and then you asked for a beer
yeah that bottle of rum is only the second thing I want that kid to be pulling out of his pants
Your aunt just offered to blow me for a ride home....how did you end up such a prude?
Her pegging playlist is all heavy metal so stay away if you wanna keep your ass intact
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