i seriously hope you fucking die....you are the worst.
SHit! Sorry, sent to wrong person
I boned her and wore a Freddy mask once. It was pretty lol
he called me "his little blueberry cunt muffin"...how would that make you feel?
i'm in his phone as sushi coochie
yea i came on her face and told her to bring a snorkel next time
i just saw a girl w/ a shirt that said "im the single friend." yeah i bet u r. stop wearing shirts like that and that could change.
From the prices on this menu it looks like I have no choice. I have to blow him.
You drunk invited us to do an intervention for you.
Is it weird that I want to have sex wearing my glasses and lab coat while having an actual scientific discussion?
Carver called his mom a milf again
Was it on purpose this time?
I just used a gift card from my in-laws to buy their daughter a vibrator. What even are morals?
Through a complicated series of events, I wound up in the desert with a blue chick from comic-con. we lost peter. if you're alive, please come get us.
I really need to stop having sex.. I haven't been able to get a brush through the back of my hair for a good week and a half
There are footprints all over my windshield
You said you were making waffles...
just woke up to an abnormally swollen ankle (broken, perhaps?) and a shirtless man with the most beautiful abs I've ever seen sleeping on my floor.
is your ankle ok??
WHY IS HE ON THE FLOOR. SINCE WHEN DOES BLACKOUT ME ALSO COCKBLOCK ME
Randomize
