So I have to go swallow an entire zebra. Ur on ur own girl.
you alive?
ya, the episode of maury where people are afraid of things are on, i had to keep livin
Fyi mom and I voted and you're the DD tonight, congratulations
I may also break bread with strippers. Because it is passover.
The only way I could have failed my exam worse is if there would have been a drug test portion
We've already decided our costumes for next Halloween. She's going as Cookie Monster and I'm going as Elmo. She's just going to ask for Oatmeal Cookie shots, and I'm asking for Red-Headed Slut shots.
Dude, its January.
We're going to do the voices too.
Its not even 10am and we are talking about what guys assholes we would finger.
she has an amazing ass but I need more beers to get past her horse face. It works out perfect becauseI can use her teeth as a bottle opener.
Not sure how ur night is going, but unless u also saw a naked drunk chick pissing outside i doubt it can top mine
after giving head I just always feel like I need like. ice cream. as both a means of getting the lingering sperm out of my mouth, and a congratulations.
Just when I decided to go get a taco and a blunt cake it starts raining. Coincidence? or divine intervention?
I walked in on him pumping himself up by headbanging to the drumbeat from Jumanji.
PEOPLE ARE STILL EATING FAJITAS IN DROVES. BY THE CASELOAD. THERES A FORKLIFT OF SIZZLING MEATS.
I apologize for using the phrase "monster cock hentai porn shit" to describe that guy I picked up last week.
Boredom is so much more tolerable when you're stoned off your ass.
Randomize
