I'd call her a cunt, but she dooesn't seem to have the depth or warmth.
Look at it this way: if he'll have sex with a tomato, he'll have sex with you.
my coworker just texted me asking if i remember pissing in the mop bucket at the gas station
Don't byou dare ruin egg salad by putting your penis in it that would be so sad.
So I had a crappy evening so the fat girl in me says eat and cry and watch something sad. The cool girl in me says don't eat go run. So I'm watching family guy and doing crunches w a pickle in my mouth
Gross
AN ACTUAL PICKLE
Sounds like sex on a twister board.
An idea that is both hilarious and intriguing...
I just saw a douchebag with frosted tips & a LaCoste polo with popped collar driving a Call of Duty edition Jeep. It was a cavalcade of stereotypes.
And we're now at 8 people from the office coming to my desk to ask me "do you feel better?".
You want to get day drunk this afternoon and watch these guys build a house across the street?
What the hell do you have that is more important than a GIANT WATER SLIDE?
You kept hiding under tables and grabbing people's legs and shouting SHARK ATTACK.
I agree and I would be an awesome dog
I just wish he would stop trying to bring his emotional baggage into our sexual relationship.
I trusted a fart in Toronto. NEVER TRUST A FART IN TORONTO.
Im just drunk enough to admit that I miss Hannah Montana.
Randomize
