Remember when the only STD we had to worry about were hickies? Those were the days
i think at one point throughout the night i began eating birthday cake with a q-tip.
you busted in the room, ripped the covers off of us, ... and fist pumped
Hahaha you puked all over his shirt.
You puked in the planter and everyone saw your snatch.
Well someones bitter they didn't get any.
So, your mugshot picture is behind the counter at B-Dubs, with the caption: "not allowed on premesis."
The party got busted because you two got caught having sex on the neighbors trampoline, come on man.
I believe you called it tequila and nipples. The proceeded to strike a pose.
There was a pirates of the caribbean marathon on. No matter how much you like rum, it is NOT possible to outdrink the pirates. They always win.
It really went downhill when you started writing IOU on pieces of napkins. Giving them to the strippers
Real life dumb and dumber
I just used "et al" in a sext. I thought you'd be proud
All I'm saying is the next time I see him naked, there better be something in it for me that doesn't end in bailing him out of jail.
ITS THE FIRST FRIDAY NIGJT AFTER MOVING IN WITH THE NEW ROOMIE AND I ACTUALLY JIST RIPPED MY TAMPON OUT AND THREW IT IN THE NEIGHBORS YARD WERE GOINF ON THE BOAT AND SLEPEING IN HIS AMBULANCE GOODNIGHT
It might look like I curled my hair last night but it's just the jiz.
No fucking Jell-O shots or meth. Those are the rules
Please come check out theses cougars grinding on a pole. I feel like they're showing us up and we need a duel stat
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