Remember how we wr so drunk last nite we cldnt find whr i shot my load? ...found some of it.
I remember asking you "need some dick tonite?"
Yeah I guess to me frat party equals penis party. oh the wonders of vodka.
Wow, Pearl Harbor and The Notebook are on. Its like the Im going to kill myself marathon.
we are learning about oedipus in english. fuck you for making this awkward for me
just heard this guy tell a story about how he got boat head. i want his life
The rest of us are chipping in to soundproof your bedroom. This is getting ridiculous.
I need you to help me convince Steph that she will like Tequila if she would chase it with A-1
I want a bunch of melted cheese. or a penis. or a penis covered in melted cheese
Balls are being tripped. Said meow to my cat and he said yeah cool dude.
He asked me how france is treating me
Tell him you got so much dick you may never come back to the US. That ought to keep him away
I'm not sure I can continue to condone our having sex in all of your friends' beds
WHITE RUSSIAN BREAKFAST CEREAL.
he just cleaned his wound with pinnacle whipped
I woke up at 5am to tell him I wanted to take his dick on la Tour de France, I might need a nap later
I'm eating Arby's in the bathtub because I'm an adult and I do what I want
Randomize
