I think we were cool up until the point where he saw that planned parenthood was on my speed dial.
If we were unicorns we would fly together. Like in a pack. A pack of flying unicorns.
No, I think it was the night I threw up in her front yard. You're thinking of the time I threw up in her backyard.
It was at that moment that I realized I was alone. Alone and drunk on an Epcot ride.
Now he's lighting his socks on fire
You got the eggs out of the fridge and yelled "my chickens are beasts at making eggs" and then pegged them at the ceiling and at a couple who were making out
I wanna take him on a special date, something that says I banged your brother but since he moved I want you
You left wolverine marks
I'm somewhere between sorry and proud
Some toppless girl just walked past me in the hall and gave me half a carton of smokes. I have never been more aroused.
When that bartender tried to tell us he sang like Sade, I knew it was time to go
So I spent all night thinking my bed was floating down a river and telling the cats to get on the bed because they were going to float away. Percocet is strong shit.
I burned myself with a joint twice in one sitting I have to say that's a new record for the least number of times I have hurt myself while smoking.
Did I let your boyfriend smear a banana into my face last night? Because I have pictures that are telling me I did....
I need a guy who can see in me what the lesbian community sees in me
i just want a beer and a blow job. is that so much to ask?
and i just want a ring so i can stop faking it. is that?
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