its totally unfair that im just as ill-prepared as a 16 year old but there's no tv show for 25 and pregnant.
he picked an earring up off the bar floor and tried to give it to girls as a present.
I saw a 60 yr old mans penis last night. Just for the record.
I got the number from the girl at uhaul even after she saw me throw up all over the parking lot with a 6 pack in my hands.
All I want to do is fuck in the bell tower before it leave this school. Is that too much to ask?
I guarantee that wasn't the first penis someone placed on her forehead.
if the future wants me to fuck him, then i guss i have to
told our landlord the hole in the wall was from your head during drunk sex..
how did he take it?
not as well as i would have thought
He started using my brother's rc helicopter as a beer delivery device. He's a drunk McGyver.
My cab driver has a hooker in the front seat. Really, this is serious. And weird.
LET US USE OUR GENITALS TO CELEBRATE THIS VICTORY
He stared me down while singing "Let Me Love You" to me while we were having sex. I don't know whether to marry him or file a restraining order.
He told me he was my brother roommate in college after we fucked, but already knew that so I had pretend I didn't know that.. like how I pretended I finished. 2/10
chasing tequila with frosting. best baby shower ever.
He caught me shoving meatballs into my mouth using my hand. Fuck utensils. It’s Christmas...and this is why I’m single.
They are good meatballs.
Randomize
