One of my residents in my hall just found my positive pregnancy test from last year I hid behind the fridge, I'm just going to tell them it was for a science project.
had to ask my 13 year old sister if she knew any dealers... she did. it's good to be home.
we've been doin it since '07. it's like married sex now, were both comfortable so neither of us really tries anymore, we just do it because it's convenient
How am I suppose to fully love you when you cant even open up and try to fulfill my midget fantasy
I just helped a group of highschool stoners find a safe place to smoke I feel like a responsible rolemodel
He said he only likes girls with a sense of humor, after he took his pants off I understood why
nothing like smoking out of your roommate's bong with your mom to celebrate the rising of christ
he is risen halelujah
Dont really know what happened near the end, Pockets were filled with skittles though
I was mid-sentence and you stopped me and said, "Yeah.. for my vaginas sake, I'm gonna need you to stop talking right now."
plus there's no nice way to tell a guy you physically hate the shape of their cock.
He came over and watched the USA game with me, fucked me so good my toe cramped, then made my bed this morning before he left. Thank God for Army rangers
This time last year I was crying in a church parking lot without shoes or a bra, so the years can only go up from here
She started snoring post sex, so I drunkenly walked 8 miles at 4am to go fishing. Please come pick me up
In my defense, there are at least three ways to die doing that, and I'm still here. America, Fuck Yeah!
I'm alone, 3 beers in, and cutting tshirts into belly tops.
Randomize
