So i banged this chick from Peru last night. Needless to say, I'm having chipotle for lunch todayas a south American reward to honor her.
It's an acquired taste. Like keystone. Or caviar.
He was such a tease, he pulled out his dick, let me touch it then put it away
just got invited to smoke a bowl by a guy who has a prostetic leg and has been on the jerry springer show multiple times. I love my life right now
Dont ask, hes out back rolling around in the yard freaking out. literally just had a 15 minute conversation, only word i could make out was "yellow"
Yeah he gave the rest of the brownies to the bouncer that took his fake
Our whole friendship has just been time foreshadowing my dick in your mouth.
Don't count me out just yet. Considering bartering a blowjob to see if that boy from work will take my shift.
well his nickname is liver of steel so it makes sense that his balls follow suit. tell him i say sorry
Hey history final, how's it feel to be raped in the ass by my steel cock of ACADEMIC PERFECTION?
you are way too vulgar to be a girl
Well his dad is my dentist so they've both been in my mouth.
Looks like I accidentally stole two of your beers and left my pants at your place.
How did you leave without pants?
Being drunk at Chick-fil-A is a dystopian experience
If it's any consolation she turned out to be has a collection of clown dolls she talks to crazy. And the cops knew why I was calling when she key locked the door from inside.
100000% expect a picture of my ass in them
Randomize
