In the future we'll all be gay
This is clearly one of those "A hole's a hole" situations
He wanted a quickie. I said, can I play doodle jump on my iPhone during? And that's exactly how it went.
You said you were going to take the sideview mirror to your own car so that nobody would steal it. Thats why you woke up with it.
I gave you head at the stadium on a Thursday night ESPN game. That damn well better be worth points on the score board!!!
the guy sitting next to me at the bar has a patrick swayze tattoo hovering over a roast beef sandwich. 'merica.
Is it weird that I want to have sex wearing my glasses and lab coat while having an actual scientific discussion?
Pre-chapter meeting quote: "Why is there a bun literally taped to the shelf? That doesn't even make sense when you're drunk, who does that?"
I think he's holding my wallet hostage because I puked in his car. It's not my fault he has child locks on his windows..
Like, defending PBR and Bio Dome consumes a lot of my time.
NO BABIES. YOUR VAGINA WILL BLEED WITHIN A FORTNIGHT.
Pretty sure my boss knows there's Jack smell coming out of my pores right now... He just gave me a look...
First non virgin Sunday. Bursts into flames.
It's not just going to appear. A lot of blood, sweat, tears, and leg work went into finding a cock that amazing!
I got the shit slapped outta me last night but the pain in my jaw doesn’t even compare to the hangover I have.
Randomize