onenightstand. Woke up and saw my nuva ring on the floor. apparently he thought it was a glow stick. pick me up please?
he didnt ask why there was a glowstick shoved up your vag?
My number went up to seventeen today. I forgot to add my random hookup on a sailboat.
Apparently tackling a bar stool and crashing to the floor while yelling for 6 shots of whiskey won't get you thrown out on St Pattys Day.
just dropped my bong into 7 pieces, and carried the glass shards around my house. dad saw the blood dripping down my arms, and asked if i slit my wrists. way too high to laugh at this.
Anyways, i'm off to play with a rubber dick and a ouija board with two other girls...
I feel like hell. The amount of black beans I found in my hair tells me I hit rock bottom
You asked me if you could throw up in my shoe.
you realize you insisted on them having a dance off to korean music to determine who takes you home?
you're no funn. i shall go consult my friend vodka on this matter.
I've made this amazing blanket/pillow cocoon combo and I am set for life in here.
She said "I feel like I haven't reached my full potential" and I couldn't figure if she meant in life or with the weed..
You threw up a gallon of vomit. I really have never seen anything like it in my decade of partying.
I think I passed out drunk at my own jewelry party
Pretty sure I just pissed straight whiskey...
And my butt misses you like the deserts miss the rain.
Randomize
