the last time I saw her she was leaving the mens bathroom and club rush with her dress inside out. typical tease.
I woke up wearing just my underwear and a headlamp at a different house than I remember passing out at. I told you irish car bombs are not made with an entire guinness.
I can't tell you what you just drank, that would ruin the point of Mystery Monday.
No no don't get confused. We do chemistry homework on Thursdays. We screw on Fridays. Other than that, Words With Friends is our only communication five days a week. We are NOT dating.
The best part of last night was the women's softball game on the TV at the strip club
you taught an eight year old how to shotgun a half pint of chocolate milk, that's all i'm saying
You got me so high that I almost couldn't leave my house for a bar because there was nothing to lean against on the way there
When you and that girl went into the bedroom, you yelled "FOR NARNIA!"
its one thing to be single and another thing to be single and then have your profile picture be of you and the cat
your picture is with misty too!!
I AM SINGLE BY CHOICE
Really stoned me is having a very serious, intent conversation with my mom about egg rolls and koolaid flavors.
Hey sorry for being annoying last night, I just realized how many times I yelled "JORDAN!" during and after playing pong.
I don't remember anything after falling in the ditch, but I now have confirmation that my rib is broken. Never drinking again.
He kept squeezing my butt and telling me how smart I was
I think the reason she hasn't text me back is because I spanked her ass with Hulk Hands
At least I got steroids and a baguette out of the deal
Randomize
