Billy Mays died!
I know. And the US is beating brazil...what's wrong with the world?
the girl next to me in class just threw up in a waterbottle during our exam.
Just wanted to remind you that you literally cut the underwear off a man.
He kept surfacing with a delighted look on his face, guessing different types of food to try to figure out what makes my pussy taste so good.
some guy i've known for a week sent me nudes saying "you're welcome" i need an award for this birthday
It took him an hour to realize I wasn't this "Sarah" girl, and by then he was already crying and eating pizza rolls.
One of the art pieces was basically this chick throwing raw meat at the audience, anyone who got hit (which I did) got a free shot of whiskey. It was worth it.
Getting drunk and falling down, isnt the best way to describe your hobbies, to your new co-workers.
He tried to stop traffic by waving his half eaten pizza at cars.... And we were stupid enough to cross .....??!!!
Don't date the locals. They're all tainted.
I HAD TO PAY A COVER FOR THE FIRST TIME LAST NIGHT. My tits didn't get me in and I was so pissed.
It's 7:30pm and we've already lost someone and had to run from the cops. What the fuck did you put in the punch?
I'm sorry I threw a frog in your car last night.
How much weed can I reasonably smoke now if I have to leave for work in a bit over an hour
I just woke up with a pair of handcuffs in my pants, can u explain this?
Randomize
