This is the first month I have not taken plan B to get my period in over a year
And somehow that makes me sad knowing I haven't had raunchy unprotected sex in a month
Phosphoglyceraldehydration... why the fuck is this a word
the table of underagers at this wedding were seated 10ft from the open bar. currently 30 open containers on the table for 5 people. dinner hasn't even been served yet.
boy from dating site added me on facebook. i don't know if i'm ready for him to see what a drunk i am.
a garbage man just dropped off my phone and wallet. he found them in the trash this morning.
He was standing in the front door with a kareoke machine yelling at the neighbors as the unloaded their van
It was really weird walking into a CVS and not going straight to the pharmacy for plan B.
he tried to do a one handed cartwheel to showoff but knocked himself out cold. fuckin jagerbombs will kill that man.
I dont have any paper so I'm writing class notes on my first response direction pregnancy paper. Judging eyes are all around.
and then we all passionately sang "what if god was one of us" until everyone passed out in the grass
not now. havin a heart to heart with drunk fred flinstone
Just resonded to a booty call with "how much effort is required on my part?" I think I've finally reached the point of smoking too much pot
I told my boss that I'm in a slutty stage of my life right now and the chef overheard and slipped me his number. I might get laid tonight
If you get laid dressed as my dad that makes me extremely uncomfortable
Do you ever just admire your boobs?
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