Apparently throwing up on his dick didnt convince him to stay away . . . whats the most indirect way of saying "im just going to continue avoiding you"?
how hairy? two words: wookie tits
How can she be afraid to give you a blowjob? It's not like your penis is going to turn on her and eat her.
They said "my eyes made me look intoxicated" ......we harassed them all night and we called the cops and told them that the bouncer that kicked us out was selling meth in the club ...and then we went to wendys
Everyone needs a good pregnancy scare in their life.
my dog ran away and came back with a marajuana plant. what are you doing tonight?
Why is the garage door in the middle of the street?
let's get a trip to cabo together for next spring... they have to have forgotten about me by now
He came in like 30 seconds. That's how I know he hasn't been cheating on me while I've been gone
I just ate four packages of Swiss Rolls. Being high and on food stamps is AHmazing.
I was just reelected president of justgotlaidsylvania
My vagina needs her own mother sometimes.
If you sleep with another manager before the year is up you'll deserve an accomplishment sticker.
He says the sweetest things but also that he wants to choke me when we fuck so it's kinda perfect.
So how do u get your coat out of the coat room when someone is fucking on it?
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