i think ur clone was at the club last week. she slapped some tall girl in the face who tried to steal her spot on the podium. i dont know if ur like her, but she seemd like a ninja badass with superpowers
so, i drunkenly called my religious roomie because i was lost and told her if she couldn't come find me, jesus would condemn her to hell for not leading me to the light .. too much?
we did anal to Party In The USA and he busted to Firefies .. felt like we were fucking in a middle school dance
did you fuck him yet?
hahaha who do you think your talking to.. a nun?
ok, she started talking about how she swears her step dad killed her mom. starting to back out of this one
This honesty session brought to you by jagermeister inc.
I'm sorry i ruined our friendship with a boner
That's the point dumbass, I can't use my boss as a reference cause they'd have to fucking call him in prison.
Why is there a chicken nugget nailed to my front door?
I think he was trying to tie my clitoris in a knot with his tongue. So awful.
It's like a double rainbow in both sides of the sky mixed with The Jeffersons.
He told me his cum shot melted the paint on his bedroom wall and asked if I want to see it
somehow this went from sexting to explaining my eating disorder.
We kind of broke a table making out. So yes, I'd say it was successful.
Ok, maybe playing "whose family is most dysfunctional" wasn't the best drunk idea we've had. Todd''s been crying in the bathroom for an hour. We can't get him out...
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