Relationship's official after skype sex--college kid at his finest.
bringing a ziploc bag full of Jim Beam to the movies may not have been the best idea.
LSHMSFOAIDMT = laughing so hard my sombrero falls off and I drop my taco.
This was my thought process as I drunkenly ran home: Whoa! I'm going so FAST! Why don't I run EVERYWHERE! ALL THE TIME! Then I peed in a bush and passed out on the ground.
So basically you were a dog.
Hey my results were negative. Your chlamydia train stops here. Happy hunting!
Yeah man i woke up and only had a Jimmy John's wrapper covering myself..
my dad has now seen 6 different dudes grab my ass. i guess i should start a list.
Please, by all means, tell me what can't be helped by two stiff drinks & a blowjob?
How bad would it be if I asked him for my "ho ho ho" thong back? They're my fav christmas pair!
tried to make it look like I had been conscious/awake and out all day when I stumbled into cvs at 6pm to buy plan B
update: I failed
Watching a guy masturbate in real time is a lot less theatrical than porn had me to believe.
Girl I'm contemplating picking up some adult diapers. That's how bad this is and it's only day 2.
The logic in me says "don't text him" .But the vagina in me says "text him".
I just wiped my butthole and there was glitter down there.
you were peeing in her backyard and some dude came outside and looked at you and was like "thats not a pee spot" and you said "well it is now" then i joined you. Forever poppin squats <3
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