I cant wait to get the disapproving look from this elderly black lady...
party was madd awkward.. it was like every person who i sat next to in high school and never said hi to was there
never play flip cup with pint glasses
Even DaVinci knew it was gay to draw the penis big. Thanks art history
Friday was tragic. I was naked on top of him and he didn't have a condom. Oh and he had an Obama poster on the wall in front of his bed so our president was staring down at me while I was naked. I felt sorta bad.
You should've just screamed yes we can!
Yes someone did see you carrying a beer bong on the side of coastal highway
at least the person I hooked up with donates to charity, the shirt I was wearing this morning was his relay for life shirt.
But life is now good. Well, not good, good would be not wearing the penis hat with the extended family of the boy I just cheated on, but as good as it's going to get today
My mom now keeps ice cubes on hand for my bong water. We may be able to work this relationship out.
Well that's the thing. He does want to take me out... To a strip club. I see this going down a very bad road but you know I'm going to go.
Wearing a french maid costume for Halloween sure did help me meet girls
Dude, they all thought you were gay.
I brought a travel sized bottle of baby powder and sprinkled it on all of the couples making out on the wall in the basement
I woke up naked and you weren't here. What a relief.
I was cock-blocked by a swat team last night.
The last time I saw you you got angry and yelled "WHISKEY DOESNT COUNT" ... I think that's at least a 7 on the hotmess scale.
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