Well the candle wax mightve been sexy if he didn't drop the candle and light half my bed on fire
broke, out of weed, out of gas, out of food, and my gf just left me.
you're writing country songs now?
me and my sister are feeding my dog poprocks. this is proof you don't need a lot of money to have fun.
don't thank me. stop putting your penis in foreign objects.
i'm making a list of conversation topics in my blackberry so the ride won't be so awkward
Now she's making me sit here and look at pictures of guys she likes who look like bears. She's calling them her bear friends.
the thought 'we cant do it, we're in a public place' crossed my mind, and then I realized he's succeeding if he's trying to domesticate me.
elevator sex. pronto.
How did I end up in the pool?!
Welcome to ASU
I misjudged the power of my pelvic thrusting capabilities. His nose is broken. Thoughts?
If it makes you feel any better, I'm eating a block of cheese...
How many nights in 2015 can we have no one get injured, run away crying, or get into a brawl?
PUT DOWN THE JOINT AND STEP AWAY FROM THE TRUSTAFARIAN
The irony of the fact that I'm going to be starting my period on Thanksgiving. Something to truly be thankful for.
I'm going to be such a slut in Europe I've already decided
Send me dick pics. We'll make a scrap book
I woke up with clothes on this morning and I'm pretty sure you had something to do with that. Thank you.
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