I chose taco bell over sex...
good choice.
I love how you send me nude pics of girls you're fucking and name them by which city they're in instead of their name. "This is Nashville, this is Tupelo, this is Jackson..."
She's NOT homeless...she graduated early.
Hate the very realistic pregnancy dreams. Like my dream when I birthed the pirate ships. SO REAL...
afterward, he apologized, hugged me, and then gave me a granola bar and said “this is my apology gift.”
I have a question: does pizza dipped in chili sound good or am I just really high?
the last thing i remember was the norwegian kid tacking a bag of wine to the ceiling, then boom! shower drain.
I cancelled the entertainment for your b-day party.... Keep the bouncy castle just in case.
He picked me up in the very car he devirginized me in, his moms toyota.
The water at the venue tasted HORRIBLE so I just kept drinking booze. It was like the medievals.
he just cleaned his wound with pinnacle whipped
Well, he hasn't actually seen me naked. Just my boobs... and the left side of my vagina.
Before consuming her Waffle House she did a few deep breaths and cleared the table to "prepare herself for this"
The amount of drunk I'm going to get tonight will be somewhere between Jim lahey and bojack horseman
Actually we have similar relationship styles aka no relationship... it could work
Randomize
