That's what you get when you play shuffleboard drunk.
erin looks like she hung out with the sham wow guy last night. she's got the beat up hooker look goin' on
I hope to God it wasnt poon. That odor was unnatural, it was satanic pussy.
Im telling you now. Hang out with winning football players and you get whatever the hell you want. Sorry to wake you. But its important knowledge.
I am paying my roommate as much of the electric bill in pennies as possible because I hate her.
Well you really should've thought of that before you painted your walls the same color as your toilet
knew i was gonna lose at a shoe or be bleeding at some point. and both happened within 20 mins.
It's one of those things you just need to see in person at least once in your life. Like Niagara falls or some shit. His ass is the Niagara falls of asses
I cNt phones. tingles in my fingles. jingles
I still think he fell and scraped his elbow and lost his credit card buying 8 hot chocolates for hobos
Who knew there were so many rules and judgements about laying on a kitchen floor. I'm all like I'm resting. It just happens to be on a kitchen floor.
So apparently it wasn't anything really bad, it's hemorrhoids. Which is the medical word for butthurt. I actually have ass ointment.
it's the international house of making me almost fucking shit myself
In any case. I fucked a married couple recently. Know what a straight person would've done there? Been super weirded out by 1/3 of the genitals there, that's what.
A massage should never include spaghetti sauce. shit was fucked up
Randomize
