Gte hit a new low, I took a poopnap, passed out mid poop on the toilet.
It wasn't long before I skipped the martini glass and went straight to drinking from the shaker.
Dipping chips in queso and thinking of your beautiful face
there was already a condom in her . . and it was bigger than me
No one showed up yet so I smoked 4:20 on chatroulette with a naked chick..
Getting blown during the Cavs game doesn't make it any less depressing.
I totally need to blow more fat guys. His cum tasted like vanilla ice cream
These old men are woofing at me..PLEASE HURRY
Well I found out I was essentially dumped and replaced by a hipster and apparently offered a girl $95 to go out with me. In the spirit of the Olympics I will not be spending any time on the medal stand.
I don't care how much you're grieving a loss, masturbating off the side of a roof is not acceptable mourning behavior.
Classic dick move. Breaking up your buddies 3-some by coming into his room and doing the Harlem Shake.
Is it bad form to spend company money and place an ad in the paper because I wanna nail the sales girl?
You don’t need a wing man if you have a solid hook up on the pumpkin pie
Baby Shark came on during sex.
She has BABY SHARK on her sex playlist. Who does that?
Sorry. Im too sleepy to penis.
Randomize
