Just watched Hilary Duff have a three-some on Gossip Girl...all I could imagine was that LIzzie Maguire cartoon girl freaking out above their heads
i forgot i changed ur name in my phone to "the situation" so when u texted me i got really excited for a hot second
i thought we decided on me being "the altercation" instead
how the hell did we fit 12 drunk lesbians in your car?! I felt like we were playing lesbian tetris last night.
somethin' about having sex in my parents bed makes me feel like l'm finally an adult.
She celebrated a negative pregnancy test by going out to Quizno's. I really don't understand her at all.
Hahaha I asked him about her bjs and he said "I would not wish that on anyone"
He tried to bang a 300 pounder last night. No joke. I shotgunned a tall boy in a bar cuz the bartender didn't crack the beer. Cant wait till Nashville.
cheese fries, coffee, with a side of dry heaving in the bathroom at the diner on campus at 5am. never felt better.
When you get to his house tomorrow, follow your instincts. Find the cat first.
I'm pretty sure I'm the first person in the history of this college to rollerblade their walk of shame.
He yelled "HOO-ah!" like Al Pacino when he pulled down his pants. Trust me, he has every right to.
You blacked out at 9:30 and insisted on sleeping in the hallway after you chugged an entire pitcher of beer. I guess the Jell-O shots were stronger than we thought...
Went up to some dude that hit on Laura and told him he has a voice like a grandma. Apparently didnt have muscles or kindness like grandma so can you pick me up at the ER please?
IF THE SUNS NOT EVEN OUT THEN WHY IS HIS DICK OUT WTF
Is it sad that my idea of a quality foursome would involve one person eating me out while the other two rub my feet?
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