Solid performance last night. Wanna be fuck buddies?
i think he might wanna be bffs again, but idk cause we're friends again but we haven't been bff since like a year. i don't know what to think...
wow. what a nail bitter. i need popcorn for this. brb
not allowed to tweet this cos she's following me but i definitely just got head in a stairwell of the university of chicago. wanted you all to know.
The lesbians are drunkenly meowing in the hallway again. This is the shit I'll miss at home.
He literally didn't stop until I lost count of how many times he made me orgasm. It took three hours.
Breakfast tacos?
YOU ARE A FOUNTAIN OF GREAT IDEAS
we convincced her parents we were only wasted meanwhile theire faces were morphing into one and i swear there was a reindeer in the background
It's like shitshowville, population: those girls.
I literally just fucked insane clown pussy. 24 yo nut job moonlights at children's parties. Gave me head while still in full clown makeup from my kid's birthday party.
I am the only person I know ever to have been brought TO the bar in the back of a cop a car. Twice.
Do you think it would be a margarita if you just out tequila in a sonic slush?
"Fuck all you guys I'm going to be Cameltoe Spider-Man for Halloween."
So, what my linguistics project should really be called is "I happen to sleep/makeout with a lot of bilinguals and am now using them to help me graduate"
ps. i have two very important words to sum up my night
which are?
library sex.
Drunk me bought a cell phone last week and began texting sober me. The conversation between the two is still on going.
Randomize
