I feel like ignoring a facebook event is a lot like a pocket-veto. The only difference is instead of opposing legislation, I don't want to go to your sketchy party.
that was the first time i tried it. why is it all sticky? its like somebody threw a glue bottle at my face.
what do 4 police cars, 1 ambulence, and 2 fire truycks have in common?.... My driveway
it's kind of nice to have a picture of me making out with someone and actually know who it is for once
Theres a disney princess moonbounce on karen st. and I'm drinking beer at a little league field. this might end with me in jail.
Grilled cheese and whiskey for lunch is why i should NEVER be a housewife.
Also, that dude projectile vomiting all over the living room was the perfect distraction for me to swipe the booze and run.
All you kept saying was, " Barack fucking Obama. FUCK Michelle" and then you motorboated me.
I'm at a new rock bottom. Malibu on ice at work because it's the only thing they've got and no mixers.
We're not piercing ourselves today.
My sister's exploding appendix just cock blocked me...
We banged in his car behind the burrito place. Google Maps keeps asking me to rate my visit. 5/5, would cum again.
I just realized u compared me to a coconut
Try sleeping with him.
Why is it that all my gay friends have that solution...
Cuz you will have an answer or have sex.
Probably some sort of karmic revenge for me looking at titties somewhere along the way
and for that you shall suffer
God: I won't strike you down, but I shall introduce your child to Doja Cat during a quarantine
Randomize
