So I have to ask... did I meet your lumberjack expectations? I mean, minus the red flannel and all.
but the lizard people decide everything anyway
i just got cum up my nose. i would have expected more from the captain of the men's lacrosse team
You totally left a blue butt print on our banister
Well I think we can all agree that that's better than then bowl of puke I left last time.
On my list on ridiculous morning after bus rides home, still sopping wet and carrying a giant straw hat is definitely top five
He just said "fuck you" to the bowl he's eating things out of
she called for a booty call so i sent mike as my stunt double
I want my birthday to be like the hunger games where all the contenders for my vaj have to fight each other off to win the prize
Can I have the second place winner?
It will be like a scavenger hunt.. only we're looking for places to have sex.
You are the only lesbian I know that needs plan b
You were a for sure 10. You put on a traffic cone to meet someone.
Tomorrow night, I am putting you In my trunk. No excuses we have waited forever for this.
I feel like I should send her I'm sorry I've been fucking your boyfriend flowers.
Had a very good bday. Have the teeth marks and bruises to prove it
I'm a peeled potato compared to her. I'm a peeled potato compared to anyone. I'm a peeled potato.
Are you high?
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