Apparently Chef Boyardee is the only guy I'm taking home tonight.
He passed out so we kept throwing water on him, he got excited and asked if we were at the wave pool.
some guy just walked by in the street and for 5 seconds yelled "IMM SOOOO HORNYYYYYY!!!!"
I mean, I know they're ugly, but I cant turn down a birthday threesome.
I was crying hysterically and you wouldn't stop petting my ear and shushing me every time I tried to say something.
Dude you were sitting on a bench on the street with her for 45 minutes thinking you were on the bus
He tried to spell out "PROM?" in his cum on my stomach during sex. It was terrible
well did you say yes?
I wanna get freshman fucked up and do shady things on the last Friday of my youth.
No one suspects that a sweet girl who is excited about her anniversary with her bf just blew her partner at work in a communal area a few hours ago, so its cool.
I think the guy I was trying to dance with was an undercover cop...
Also, I cannot stop picturing myself in a bar, 3 years from now ordering soda. Just soda. 30 pounds over weight and wearing a cat sweater. I feel like I'm heading in the wrong direction in life.
So after I fell off 4 times we concluded I'm not allowed to ride him anymore.
It's ok, it's locked within patented Sealrite technology. That puke is staying fresh
I don't even have his number. I have his pants tho
dude. that's the chick that BIT MY DICK. it doesn't matter how hot you think she is, trust me man.
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