the shit that comes out of a woman's mouth when she knows you can't hit her is fucking unbelieveable
Have you learned any life lessons?
I like big butts and I cannot lie.
Apparently I fed my Plan B to my turtle last night.
I don't think anyone could emotionally handle a numb vagina.
I cant believe you went home with her.. Your poor immune system and the shit you put it through.
He gave me a hug and said "He doesn't deserve you, Anna. Your boobs are great, and I'd fuck you anytime. Any. Place." I need a new 'gay' friend.
yeah dropping that class because i really don't want to be known as the girl who fell asleep in class and threw up as she walked out for an entire semester
I'm an approx 70% certain someone switched my UV Blue for Windex - just as volatile as you might think.
I AM OFFERING YOU ALCOHOL AND THE CHANCE TO LET ME SAY FUCK IT TO MY RESPONSIBILITIES. HOW MANY TIMES DOES THIS HAPPEN?!
She yanked on my limp dick and I yelped, to which she slurred something about starting it like a lawn mower
Some older looking guy gave me his card as he exited the train. Hes a pharmaceutical rep. I'm debating asking him for a job. Obv he wants sex but if I can get a job out of this maybe I can offer him more than a cheap dry handjob bc that's all I'm really up for these days
I wasn't supposed to sleep w him. So of course I sent him gps location to my bed.
Who knew she had talents apart from chugging wine spritzers
Nothin much, just sipping warm franzia from a plastic valentines wine glass while wrapped in my Mexican blanket listening to sappy country songs and mourning my lack of a love life. Hbu?
Went to waffle house after dropping my sister off at school and got into a heated argument with a drunk/hungover philosophy professor I will not name. I won the argument.
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